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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Status Quo

Walking out in the pouring rain
drenched and chilled to the bone;

surrounded by a rain symphony,
but it doesn't drown out the pain.
Walking away from all I've known;
yet it seems I’m still in captivity.

False illusions I've convinced myself
despite all the things I've come to know;
I realized that I can’t do this anymore.
As my feet hit the pavement ground,
further away but no closer to being free
the realization reverberates all around.

I've never been good with confrontation,
I'm sure it’s what stunted my maturation.
Realizing the problem is half the battle
yet I refuse to take off these shackles.
I can't quit this mindless life of excuses
as I've become use to my own abuses.

Out here on the West coast is where I now roam;
my self loathing and misery has found a home.
Even though I know my future is no guarantee
at least here no one expects anything of me.
With no motivation my life is at an impasse;
passing me by like the sands in an hourglass.

Truth be said I really hate myself and my life;
I try to ignore the truth but it cuts like a knife.
Like an open wound my mistakes are visible
I try to numb the pain but I'm still miserable;
my emotions in my life is the shade of gray and
no matter how far I walk I can never walk away.

Copyright by NewLife2008