A Living Dream

Visions of you linger in my head like a lazy afternoon

while I lie on the cool grass under an abundant shady tree,

these pleasant thoughts of you drift by like runaway balloons

and I feel the rays of warmth that you cause inside of me.

The flowers aroma reminds me of your distinctive scent

and the summers breeze like the delicate touch of your hands;

remembering your smell and your touch I'm eager to relent

to your soft whispers and obsequious to your demands.

Your silhouette I envision as I drift off into a state of bliss

finding every curve and nuance of you aesthetically pleasing

and your lips are like oxygen that I take in with every kiss

giving me life for without you I would have no reason.

I'm easily intoxicated by the very sight of your existence

a conscious realization that has awaken my very being;

as I come to and sit up I see you approaching in the distance

and so glad that you're mine and I'm no longer dreaming.

Copyright by NewLife2008

A Portrait in Futility

Within the belly of a

barren soul hopelessness has settled in

and my bones have no pleasure;

I am tired.

My body has one craving

but happiness I can't seem to attain;

there's something wrong with my brain

and it won't change.

Fill me up with medicine

but it's only a band-aid to my pain

as seasons of loneliness

for me remain.

I've tried to be happy since

I was young; but it has eluded me.

Like chasing after the wind;

I can't catch it.

Copyright by NewLife2008

Lunacy

Lunacy

On a cloudless night one day in June

I tried to entice a dare from the moon;

to see if he would commit an act of truancy

and spend a few hours with me in lunacy.

He said; "But I have many things that depend upon me,

what about the plants, the stars, and the waves of the sea?"

"I can only stay up a few hours tonight anyway;"

I replied, "can you please come down here and play?"

With a gleeful squeal the moon willingly complied

and quickly came down to earth to play by my side.

We first danced on the grass in circles like jubilant doe

and then rolled down the hill by the country chateau.

Like a puppy everywhere I went he eagerly pursued

and said, "This is something that I always wanted to do;

I'm just so happy that someone finally asked me

and want you to know a friend to you I'll always be."

Next he asked me if I had a wagon to pull him along,

I told him, "I have a wheel barrel but I'm not that strong"

"Don't worry", he said; "I hang upon nothing here in the sky,

I'll make myself as light as a feather, just give it a try."

He was right and as I pushed him along the countryside

he lit up our path as we laughed out in sheer delight.

Continuing to push him in the barrel he bounced along

as if landing on every word that you'd follow in a song.

While playing the animals stared out of amazement

as they'd never seen the moon ever act so brazen;

he didn't notice being too caught up in the moment

and I didn't realize my allotted time was already spent.

The moon told me he had to return to his rightful place

and thanked me for the time we spent as we embraced.

I'll always remember that cloudless night one day in June

of all the crazy moments I got to spend with the moon.

Copyright by NewLife2008

The State my Heart is In

Left a state but in the same state of mind
it seems we're being punished for our good deed too.
The present is my past I can't leave behind 
and the harder I try the more I'm reminded of you.

You're gone from my sight but in my mind you stay;
I'm reminded when seeing a little one holding their parent's hand.
Though no longer with us for you I always pray
since I know you find it just as hard to understand. 

I don't think we'll ever know why they took you away;
we complied with every request but it still wasn't good enough.
Every word that comes out of their mouth I don't believe anyway
and not knowing the truth just makes it that more tough.

Torn away from us and they tell us it's for the best
all the promises they made to us concerning you
never transpired and died with our hope the day you left
not caring at all of what they're putting you through.

Words are just words when it comes from the state
they say they care, yet they're taking you from your grandparents
not even caring about the time, effort, and care is what I really hate;
saying they want the best for you but their feelings are so transparent.

Time has gone by and getting information is only in generalities
saying you're adjusting so well and so happy where you're at
never giving us any details and speaking to us only in formalities;
it's their job and it's a job they do well and that's all I'll say about that.

My grandson I hope one day you know how we really feel;
and come across this poem that I put out on the internet highway 
read it please, and take it to heart, because our love for you is real
and I hope when you're old enough you'll come back to us someday.

Copyright by NewLife2008

Deprived

The night blackness caresses my very being;

blankly staring into the nothingness I'm seeing

a kaleidoscope of colors flash before my eyes

and it seems as if I'm wide awake dreaming.

The sounds in my head echo as if in a canyon

bouncing off the walls of my mind with reckless abandon,

reverberating endlessly with its winsome cries;

provides the only solace I share with my nightly companion.

My bustling mind is on spin cycle but it's not extracting;

it's always full of thoughts and constantly overactive.

Subtly I try to coax it to unwittingly compromise;

singing its praises so that I can distract it.

The lullaby rocks my consciousness like a baby;

finally the lids of my eyes are becoming lazy.

My body quietly succumbs though I don't realize

as sleep hushes my thoughts and finally saves me.

Copyright by NewLife2008

Not Sure Anymore

I’m not that strong

but still I carry on;

another day all alone

trying to make it on my own,

oh how I miss you so.

Not a day goes by

of me wondering why

you found it necessary

to leave the one you married;

saying you had to go.

I try to understand your fears,

but understand I need you here.

Every night I lie in my bed alone

I never thought I would be on my own

this far down the road.

What you’re doing with your life

I don’t know, but what do you care?

You left without any definite answer

leaving everything up in the air

it’s turned out to be a disaster.

I remember all the times we shared;

all the times you said you loved me

and how you would never leave.

Always together forever, you and me

but I’m not too sure anymore.

So many nights I cry

wishing you were by my side.

My feelings live inside myself

to others they’re never shown

I smile and keep carrying on.

You’re still in my heart;

but I’m not that strong;

faithful to you I’ll always be

but I’m losing hope that

you’ll ever come back to me.

I’ve resigned myself to the fact

that you’re not coming back, though

in my heart you will always stay.

I love you even though you’re gone

but with or without you I will carry on.

Copyright by NewLife2008

Pain of Fogetting

The pain of forgetting

you is  hard to forget;

since I’m not over you yet.

It’s the hardest thing to do

but I have no other choice;

it seems I mattered little to you

realizing I never had a voice.

Your words didn’t mean a thing

leaving me without any regret;

caring less of the pain it brings.

Letting myself be deceived

I was blinded by appearances;

little by little the layers revealed

underneath you’re so much less.

Looking back, I wish I seen it sooner;

but I was blinded by your glittery mess.

Ridding myself of every vestige

you left behind I threw it all away

even though your memory lingers

the scars I bare will always stay.

I don’t regret my life; I just regret you

and what you did cuts like a knife

since my heart to you belonged.

So I embark on my new journey

though I don’t have a destination;

as I learn to be content with my life

and with what and who I am.

Though I still think of you at times

the pain of forgetting you is gone

you’re more a figment of my imagination

as if you were never there all along.

Copyright by NewLife2008